After the month I spent with my mom visiting Grandpa's house, Mom and I were joined in the Philippines by Tom, my brother and sister, Kristy and her family, and our teachers. We lived in the Philippines for the next five years. First temporarily in a compound of resort bungalows called "Tropical Palace," and then we joined up with a few other families living in the house we called "The Chinaman's House," (simply because the owner was Chinese). We lived there for about a year. Then we all moved to the house where I had visited Grandpa for a month. By that time, my dad, Grandpa, and his family had moved out of it and were living elsewhere. We occupied that house for another year.

During these two years, when Grandpa was still living somewhere in the Philippines, my brother, sister, and I were able to see Daddy from time to time, which was nice for us all. On one occasion he took us to a restaurant, and we had a baked Alaska dessert, which the waiters flambéed. It was such a novelty that we begged Daddy to ask the waiter to do it again.

Around then is when Daddy gave each of us a gift of a Bible. He wrote an inscription at the beginning of each of them. I kept that Bible till it fell apart and then I saved the inscription page for many years after that.

Meanwhile, I was growing into a preteen. I had had my first love interest with the ten-year-old son of one of the families we lived with. I had been unsuccessful in keeping secret the fact that I had visited Grandpa and Maria, and to impress my two friends I had shared with them all I knew—down to the street address and names of everyone living with Grandpa and Maria. I had begun to grow into my "rebellious" teenage years.

Those in my age bracket who grew up in the Family were some of the first to become teenagers. This was a new experience for our parents, who had been hippies in the sixties, and though now living for and serving Jesus, had, in my opinion, still been somewhat wild in the seventies. Suddenly they were faced with their children becoming teenagers, and all that age entails—the questioning, the rebellion, the dislike of authority and so on. Learning how to parent teenagers within the framework of our Family and beliefs was a significant challenge.

Grandpa must have seen the need to address and focus on the training and upbringing of teenagers in the Family. He wrote several Letters around that time having to do with the training of teenagers and what type of mindsets and approaches should be employed. Because of the large numbers of children in the Family reaching adolescence, he saw the need to significantly focus on it. To that end, in September of 1985 a Teen Training program was initiated in Grandpa's Home. I was one of four girls who were involved in this Teen Training program. Mene had been living with Grandpa and Maria for the two years prior to this, Armendria was invited, and so was my friend Kristy. I was the youngest of the four girls at 12 and a half. The others were 13 and 14 years old.

The plan at the time was to institute a six-month training program for us four teen girls, after which we would go home and they would invite four teen boys for an additional six months of training. I remember being somewhat disappointed that initially it was going to be just us girls, as at the time, I thought it would have been interesting to have four teen boys there as well. But looking back, I can see much wisdom in the decision to keep the training program same-sex. As it ended up, the boys' program never materialized and it was just we four girls who underwent the teen-training program for six months.

Sara was the main person in charge of our daily "training," although there were others who assisted. Pete (Davidito was going by the name of Pete by this time), Davida, and in some instances, Techi partook of many aspects of the training, as they lived there, and there wasn't anyone else to be with them or us except Sara and Dora. Of course, they were schooled on their age level, and we were schooled on our level, but for other classes and portions of the day we were often grouped together.

Aside from our daily training in the Word and scholastics, we also learned to care for small children. Sara's daughter, Mary Dear, was a few years old, and Sara had her next child, Angel, while we were attending Teen Training, so we had a brand-new baby to help care for. Dora supervised our training in taking care of the children. We also received training in other practical aspects, such as taking care of the kitchen, cooking meals, and personal hygiene. We did our share of house cleanup, and we had exercise time every day. This was the routine of our daily activities and "training."

The house where we attended Teen Training was termed "the castle house" because part of it resembled a castle. The garage and entryway were part of a tower, and from there you'd climb circular stairs that wound up to a living level over the garage and finally up to a flat roof enclosed by a low, castle-looking wall. On the roof of the tower, Grandpa had erected high nets along the perimeter of the roof so that you could play badminton (or "birdie," as we called it) up there. This was perfect because the house had no yard, only a small area around the pool, and the open area of the garage carport, and this place on top of the tower.

We would often play birdie for our daily exercise time. We'd also play other games up there or in the garage—four-square, hopscotch, jump rope and roller-skating. There was a makeshift Ping-Pong table which was used frequently. Skateboarding had been the rage shortly before we came, but after Davida had a bad accident which damaged her front tooth, skateboarding was curbed.

Grandpa would go up to the tower to play birdie daily and he would also swim. Our exercise time was at a different time of the day from Grandpa's, but once every few weeks, he would invite one of us teen girls to come play birdie with him and Pete and one other person—sometimes Maria, or Gabe or Bruce or someone else. I was a terrible player and missed half of the shots, but Grandpa was always encouraging and never made me feel bad. When he'd invite one of us girls to play birdie and swim with him, he'd take time to talk with us individually and give us some personal attention.

Grandpa looked for ways to show us that we meant something to him personally and were important to him. He would do this in little ways. One time, when I was swimming laps with Grandpa, he picked out of the water two bougainvillea flowers that had blown into the pool. The pool was surrounded by bougainvillea bushes. He gave the flowers to me, while singing a sweet song that he had learned in his youth. He said, "Here, now you can keep these, and whenever you look at them, just remember that I love you." I still have those flowers. I pressed them and made them into a bookmark.

I really liked Grandpa as a person. I liked his personality. I liked the way I felt when I was around him. I felt like I mattered to him and was important to him. As young as I was and as unimportant as I felt—a lanky, klutzy 12-year-old who was 90 % arms and legs—Grandpa thought I was wonderful and beautiful, and his opinion was that I would be used of the Lord, and that I would grow up to become what the Lord wanted me to be. Any opportunity that I had to have personal time with Grandpa was always special.

When we four girls first got there, Grandpa changed the seating order at the long table everyone sat around for dinner. There was a protocol to where everyone sat at the dinner table, based on how long they had been living with Grandpa and Mama. Grandpa and Mama would sit at the head of the table, and then Techi and Pete on either side of them, and then it would go down from there according to who had been living in their Home the longest. The one exception to this was that my dad always occupied the other end of the table, opposite from Grandpa.

Since we had been there the shortest time of anyone, technically we should have been sitting toward the end of the table, but Grandpa changed the seating arrangements, and did away with protocol. He wanted all four of us girls sitting up at the front, right after Techi and David so we would be closer to him. He announced this to the Home by saying, "These girls are important, and their training is important, and I want to give them the best training they can get here." And he did!

Sara and Alf had their room where they slept with their youngest children, and the room next door to theirs was where Pete and Davida would sleep. It also doubled as a classroom. Two of us girls would sleep on another bunk bed in the kids' room and the other two would sleep on a bunk bed in the tower vault. The vault was in the living quarters above the garage, which an adult couple occupied, and it also doubled as another classroom. At the back of the room was an actual vault that had a thick heavy door with a tumbler lock. (The lock had been disabled). The vault had its own ventilation system, but the wonderful thing about it was that it was pitch black and soundproof, which made it an excellent place to sleep in on Sunday morning.

We were on a fairly early schedule most of the week but on our free day, which was Sunday, the vault was the coveted place to sleep, because you were ensured of darkness and quiet, and it was therefore easy to sleep past 1 pm—something which I frequently did on Sundays. Since some sleeping places were more coveted than others, each week we would rotate.

Every morning we had Word class. We would sing, read the Word, and in what was termed "powwows," we'd discuss how the concepts we read about applied to our lives. We studied the basics of Christian discipleship. We studied about the beginnings and roots of our missionary movement. We learned about the gifts of the Spirit. We studied the Word on various areas that we personally needed to improve our characters in.

Sara was the one most directly involved with our daily training, and we were under her care. A demerit chart was instituted as a discipline system intended to remove the need for a lot of nagging or corporal punishment. During Teen Training, the offenses that one could receive a demerit for ran the gamut from incomplete chores or failure to follow through on instructions, to more serious offenses like talking back to our elders or arguments and outright insolence. If one received a certain number of demerits in a day or week there were consequences. The consequences we received involved missing out on watching the weekly movie and completing a writing project instead, or doing extra chores in place of our daily exercise time. At that age, with so much energy to my name, missing any part of exercise time was considered by me to be the worst punishment one could possibly devise.

I was the type of teenager for whom the demerit chart was created. The demerits under my name were often numerous. I had plenty of things to get in trouble for. I was a headstrong, opinionated 12-year-old with a penchant for losing my temper and getting into heated arguments with my peers. I also excelled at disagreeing with adults on any topic, and had no problem letting them know in detail why I thought they were wrong. I also managed to acquire plenty of demerits for contention, and saying or doing mean and nasty things to the other girls—some of whom I didn't get along with very well. The demerit chart was the sole form of discipline for us girls. I didn't like the discipline I received at that age, and I got some demerits that I felt weren't justified, but for the most part it was fairly needed, to say the least.

Sara was pioneering something new in training us four teenagers. Though she reported to Maria, she was the one responsible for us. It was a new endeavor and I know she learned by trial and error, finding out what worked and what didn't. Sara was a fairly high-strung individual, and in my opinion, her personality at the time was better suited to caring for younger children than teenagers. She publicly admitted that she had a lot to learn, especially in the area of not being legalistic or self-righteous.

During the period of Teen Training she underwent an extremely difficult childbirth and recovery period. Understanding of this fact never played into my thoughts at the time, but since becoming a mother myself, I can only look back in awe and admiration at how she managed our daily care and training while enduring the physical stress that her difficult childbirth and recovery presented. In any case, whatever Sara's personality traits at the time, the stress she was under, or any personal inadequacies, we gave her a run for her money, as we were certainly not four docile teenagers.

At one point during those six months, she got fairly worn out, and ended up punishing Techi with a spanking, something which was not at all a common occurrence. Grandpa and Maria had Sara take a few days away from us and spend time in rest, reading, and prayer. After this, she apologized to us all for her actions and asked for prayer from the Home, including us teenagers and the children. The full transcript of the talk was published in the Basic Training Handbook, entitled "Prayer for Sara! Peter's Challenge to the Teens!"

Here's an excerpt from that transcript.

"What brought this all to a head was when Grandpa got really upset with me for spanking Techi. He wasn't necessarily so upset about the spanking itself, but the fact that it was too harsh and unmerciful. So of course I had to really search my heart as to why I'd reacted in my own spirit and the arm of the flesh and not the Lord's. It wasn't that I was angry or upset, I was just bound by my own rules. I had threatened I would spank if such-and-such happened and all the kids knew it, Techi knew it too, but when it did happen, although I had a check that I shouldn't carry through with the punishment that I had threatened that I would, I went ahead and did it anyway. I was not being led by the Spirit of Love, I was bound by the law, even though I really didn't want to have to carry out this spanking. According to all the rules, law without enforcement is no law at all, and you shouldn't threaten something and not carry it out, but if you don't have that peace about it and you know things aren't going right or you're not really in prayer and hearing from the Lord, and especially when you just don't know what to do, then the law has become of no effect, fruitless and you become more of a problem than the offender.

Grandpa says, "If the baptism of the Holy Spirit is anything, it's a baptism of Love! Wisdom is Love because Wisdom is God and God is Love." I really need the wisdom to know the balance in how to correct and instruct and encourage and praise, but also how and when to discipline or punish the children in love! Now I honestly don't know what to do. But it's good because it makes me desperate to pray for the Lord's direction and wisdom. I'm sure it's the way the Lord wants me to be and He'll continue to humble me and make me desperate because I really want to learn it all the way. I see how much unlike Jesus and Dad and Mama I've been in lording a spiritual authority over the children and others but never admitting my own weaknesses and sins."

After Sara asked for prayer that day, my dad gave us teenagers a talk which stuck with me. He used the opportunity to challenge us teenagers to think about Jesus in what we did, and obey and be good—not because we would get in trouble if we didn't, but because it was the right thing to do, and because we wanted to make Jesus happy. Here are a few key paragraphs from his talk to us teens.

"The Lord uses things to teach us lessons and He sometimes really shakes us up in a big way so that He'll make sure we don't miss the lessons. The more responsibility that you have and the more that you grow and the more that you're responsible for and the more you become a leader, the more important it is that the Lord keeps you in line. And often the Lord keeps you in line by chastisement, by discipline from His hand. The Lord has used this situation with Sara to teach her a lesson and thank the Lord, it's a good lesson for all of us and we all need to make sure that whatever we do, we do in love and we do it in mercy. But that doesn't mean that we don't ever need discipline. Right?

The Family needs people that are sold out to Jesus and that are doing things because they love Jesus! … Are you going to do the right thing then just because you love Jesus and because it's the right sample and because you believe it, because you're sold out to it? Or are you just going to say, "Oh well, nobody's looking so I can sluff off and disobey!" The Lord's looking, He's always looking, and He sees every disobedience and He knows every murmur, He knows every complaint, He knows every lie. He knows everything.

Dad [Grandpa] says we should make it easy for others to be good, and that's true! So how easy are you making it for your keepers to be good? How much love do you have for them that you're willing to obey Jesus and do what you're supposed to do so they don't have to correct you, so they don't have to ride your case? Ask yourself that! How much love do you have? You're murmuring and complaining that you have to do this and "How come I have to be told 10 times a day not to put my hands in my mouth or bite my fingernails?" Well, the day you stop doing it is the day you'll never hear about it again! We want to make it easy and the Lord wants to make it easy for you to be good, but it works both ways. You have to manifest enough love for others to make it easy for them to take care of you.

What about you? Do you want to be right for Jesus? Do you want to be here to serve the Lord with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind and all your strength and you'll do anything to serve Him?—Even if it means that you have to give up some of your ways and some of your sins and some of your disobediences?

Are you going to be just a member of the Family, or are you going to be a sold-out, live-or-die, sink-or-swim disciple of Jesus? The Bible says to serve the Lord with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind and all your spirit, but you have to decide on your own to do that! That's your decision! You have to want it! You have to want to obey. You have to want to follow close.

You're supposed to learn responsibility, you're supposed to learn to be able to do those things on your own, and that, kiddos, is what makes the difference between a young teen and a responsible, mature adult! That's when you start to become really grown up, when you can take those responsibilities and do them without having to have somebody peeking over your shoulder all the time."

In spite of the routine we experienced during Teen Training, the chores, schooling, and so on, the thing that made all the difference in the world to me was Grandpa's faith in us and his love for us and his affection and kindness.

Grandpa had a vision. Every time he came to dinner, every time we passed him in the hall, every time he came to our classroom, we heard the same thing. He would go on about how we as the second generation were the future of the Family; we were the ones who would keep the Family going long after he was gone. He had such faith in us. He had such vision that God would use us.

He would talk to us about the heritage of faith that we possessed, the future ahead of us, and what he saw was the Lord's plan for us as the second generation of the Family. He wanted us to be disciples. He wanted us to grow into leaders that would carry on the revolution that he had started. He manifested such faith in us. He had almost blind love and faith in us young people. He didn't see any of our problems. Or if he did see them, he certainly looked far beyond them. He saw what we could become, and what we could do for the Lord. That was what was important to him. You may have read the letter "Teens, the Future of Your Father" (ML # 2056). Grandpa would reiterate what he'd said in that Letter every time he saw us—with every comment he made to us, and with every hug and every bit of affection he gave us.

Grandpa provided such a wonderful balance to the structure and whatever discipline that we received in our day-to-day lives during that period. He gave me the faith that God could use me. At that age, I didn't really have much of a personal relationship with the Lord. But to me, Grandpa was the physical, tangible demonstration of the faith and the love of God. Sometimes I would get discouraged wondering if I would ever be able to get over my problems, such as overcoming my bad temper or gossiping or fidgeting or being contentious with the other girls. Looking back now, the problems I had at that age seem fairly small compared to other things I've had to overcome since, but at the time they were a big deal in my life.

I would wonder, "Am I ever going to make these changes? I don't know if I can do this." Then Grandpa would come into our classroom, or I'd meet him on his way out to the pool for get-out, and he would give me a big hug and say something like, "Honey, I'm so proud of you! I'm so proud of your heritage and your faith and the fact that you're here serving Jesus." He would tell us teens, "You have such a future ahead of you. You're going to be the leaders of the Family—the second generation. I see it! I believe it! You're going to do greater things for God than I could ever do. He's going to use you to accomplish His purpose. You're going to be His Endtime witnesses. You're going to do miracles and be used of God in ways you can't even imagine." And oh, how that would encourage me and give me the faith I needed.

Grandpa gave us a lot of talks on faithfulness, and he always encouraged us in our menial tasks—whether it was schooling, or taking care of the kids or the house, helping with the meals, or cleaning the kitchen—and assured us that the faithfulness we showed in those little things would grow, and pretty soon the Lord would be able to trust us with bigger things, until eventually He could trust us with being His Endtime prophets.

One time I was cooking lunch and he came into the kitchen and said to me, "Today you're cooking lunch, but someday you're going to be a pillar in the Family or an Endtime prophet." That would just make me feel so good, and I'd think to myself, "I'd better fix a good lunch. I'm going to make the best lunch I can and be as faithful as I can, so that the Lord can trust me with more later on."

I remember Grandpa calling us all together to watch the news coverage of the Space Shuttle Challenger's explosion. He was somber and felt it was a significant event.

Another time, Grandpa bought a chair that could massage your back. He purchased it so that all those who worked long hours sitting at their desks would be able to get relief from back strain. He gathered everyone in the Home together and demonstrated how to use the chair properly, and how the various settings worked. Then he set it up in the living room so that anyone could use it whenever they wanted.

There were times when Grandpa was also strict with us, when we needed it. I remember one incident in particular. We were all swimming in the pool, and we had all the children with us, including Mary Dear, and one of us had the baby. I think there was an adult also with us in the pool. We weren't entirely unsupervised, but we were all being rowdy and being loud and foolish to the point that it was disturbing Grandpa's work.

Above the pool was a wooden tent-like frame over which was put a tarp. This kept the heat in the pool and the leaves out and also afforded some shade from the midday sun. Because the pool was covered, we didn't see Grandpa open his window which overlooked the pool, but suddenly his voice boomed out over the pool, "If you keep up with this racket and this foolishness, you are going to hurt one of those little kids, and you're not even going to notice. Think about how bad you'll feel then. So I don't want to hear any more noise coming from the pool! Now be quiet and be sober!" Let me tell you, we crept out of that pool quieter than we ever had in our lives, and we were much more mindful of our noise level in the pool after that.

That was the only time Grandpa ever got upset and yelled at me personally. I think some people have the impression that he was frequently getting upset. He certainly could get upset and I saw him upset on a few occasions (this was one of them), but he seemed just as quick to forget about whatever it was that had upset him, and he'd be back to his normal, loving self in no time.

Grandpa was affectionate and easy to be around. I believe that some people who are not naturally comfortable with affection may have been put off by the amount of affection that Grandpa showed. He was affectionate with everyone—old, young, men, women. Whenever you saw him, it was guaranteed that you would get a hug, or a pat on the shoulder, or some type of physical affection. That's how he was. He was that way with everyone. I have always been an affectionate person myself, so I thought that the level of affection that Grandpa demonstrated was wonderful.