I would like to leave you with a few of my thoughts before ending. These thoughts are representative of what I've been mulling over in my mind over the last few months as I've been writing this. Forgive the fact that they are sort of splattered around without much cohesiveness.

I'll start by saying a few things about faith. The lives we lead in the Family, our beliefs, and our practices are all based on faith. The definition of faith is a belief in something that cannot be seen. I read somewhere that the trick of faith is to believe in advance what only makes sense in reverse. I thought that was an excellent explanation of the principle of faith.

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Heb.11:1)

"Without faith it is impossible to please him. For he that cometh to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." (Heb.11:6)

The foundation of Christian beliefs relies on faith. None of us were around when Jesus was crucified, yet as Christians, we believe Jesus died for us, and we accept salvation and forgiveness of our sins through faith. Creationists believe that God created the world. They weren't around to see it either, but it's a belief that is held. Even evolutionists have to have faith in their theories.

When one lives entirely by faith, as we do in the Family, the principles of faith are taken to a higher level than simple Christian faith. We trust God for many things that people in the rest of society spend a lot of time working for. I trust God to provide my needs as I serve Him. I trust God to heal me when I am sick or to provide the resources for medical care if required. I've developed a personal relationship with Jesus that sees me through difficult times and gives me the peace and fortitude needed to deal with whatever comes my way in life. The life of faith can appear odd when looked at through the eyes of those who do not live that way. It can seem strange at best, irresponsible and negligent at worst.

Not long ago I was speaking with a man who was attempting to sell me shares in property. He was a good salesman and he was doing an excellent job of presenting his facts. He was quite persuasive, but I tried to explain to him that because of my approach to life, I was not going to be a good candidate for buying any of his property shares. I explained that I serve God as a full-time missionary, and as such I do not have a fixed salary, but instead I trust Him to supply my needs and provide for me. I gave him a little background on myself and my life.

It didn't make much of an impact, as he continued on, seemingly undeterred. "So are you making plans for your retirement? Are you saving up for that?" My answer was no. "Well, what about your daughter's education? Surely you must be saving up for a college fund." Again, I replied that I wasn't. His puzzled looks prompted me to give him a bit more of an explanation. "It's not that I'm not concerned about my own retirement, or my daughter's education," I explained. "My daughter's education is important to me; that's why I choose to homeschool her. However, the way I have chosen to live my life is a matter of faith. I believe that if you are working for God, He will take care of you. I live that belief every day of my life and so far, God, as my employer, has not yet failed me. I have never gone without. My daughter and I have never lacked for anything that we needed. I have never lacked for medical attention. I've grown up watching my parents live the same life of faith, trusting in God for my personal future and the way that I was raised, and I have seen God provide the education that I needed. I have watched my parents trust God for their future and their retirement, and they have not yet lacked for anything. It's not a matter of not planning for the future. It's a matter of faith and my personal belief system."

After this explanation, the salesman concluded that he wasn't going to succeed in selling me on his product. He was a Christian and ended up being a little impressed that such a life was possible. Before leaving, he commented, "What you believe is certainly different from the mainstream, but I can see that if that's how one operated in their life, it might work."

I'd like to point out that I am thinking about the future. I think about it a lot in fact, and I am doing my best to prepare for it. "What's your five-year plan?" people may ask. Or, "Do you have a ten-year plan?" As a matter of fact, I have a 1,000-year plan. I'm serving God to the best of my ability here on earth so that when He returns, I will be prepared to rule and reign with Him a thousand years in the Millennium. Call me crazy if you like, but that's what I believe and that's what I practice.

Everyone has faith in something. Some people have faith in money. Some people have faith in hard work. Some people have faith in themselves. Others have faith in their possessions. What happens to faith that is built on those things when disaster strikes, or something unfortunate or unforeseen occurs? Will that faith be sustained? I believe that if continued to be strengthened, my faith will be sufficient to sustain me in the days to come and it will be the kind of faith that will overcome the world (See 1John 5:4). This is the kind of faith that is going to be needed in the evil days to come, and I plan to nurture that faith and not let it die. I plan for it to be strong and unshakable when the storms come. Like the wise man who built his house upon the rock.

"Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of Mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock." (Matthew 7:24,25)

Often when I pick up a Family publication, I read amazing testimonies of how God does not fail those who trust in Him. Just today, while reading the Grapevine, I read the story of a Home in Mexico who needed bigger housing and through a series of miracles God provided them with a big house, in the best part of the city. The owner decided to loan it to them and their missionary work for the next four years. No rent required, no down payments or mortgages. What a wonderful Provider we have!

Then there was a testimony from a few of our missionaries in Uganda, who, after spending some time in a distant, dangerous city witnessing and ministering to their friends, considered staying an extra day. After asking the Lord about it, He simply told them "No," so they went home as planned and days later found out that the same bus that they would have been on if they had stayed an extra day was ambushed—30 killed and 50 kidnapped. You can't tell me there isn't Someone wonderful looking out for those serving Him. These are just small samplings of the kinds of things that happen on a regular basis in our lives of faith—testimonies of supply, protection, and provision. These kinds of things happen so often and so frequently that they almost become commonplace in our Family.

Some who have left our group have also left their faith. And it's not surprising that when faith is gone things look very different. "Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be" (Romans 8:7). If you lose faith, or if your faith changes to rest on something carnal or material, then you can look back at your life and experiences of faith and nothing makes sense anymore. The previous life that was built on faith can seem like a waste.

Because faith is such a precious thing, the Enemy of our souls is always looking for a way to steal our faith. Faith can be attacked and it can be mortally wounded. Faith can also die entirely, or it can be discarded. I've seen it happen to so many of my friends. It almost happened to me too, once. I was so close to throwing in the towel with my faith. Everyone has times in their life when their faith is tested, tried, and questioned. When your faith is put to the test and it comes out stronger, then you know that it's worth holding on to. That's happened to me in a personal way. Through a miracle of God, He helped me to hold on to the smallest flicker of faith that I still possessed. And in time, that faith grew. It grew through adversity, yes, and it grew through nurturing, till today it is stronger and I pray it will grow stronger still as circumstances coupled with my obedience to God continue to prove and test my faith. (Family members have read about my experiences and tests of faith in "Issues, Part 11," ML #3413.)

Faith grows through faithful study of God's Word. I'd like to thank all those who throughout my life have given me a foundation of faith. I owe a great deal of the faith I currently possess to the faithful teaching by those who daily studied the Word with me when I was growing up. I also would like to thank all those of the first and second generations in the Family who have been tangible examples to me of living a life of faith. To all those who have opened their lives and hearts to me, I have seen God come through for you and it leaves me with no doubt that He will do the same for me—and He does, on a daily basis.

Now I want to cover my thoughts on the past and the present. In this account I have detailed many experiences of my past and childhood. While my upbringing was unconventional in some ways—even by Family standards—I've felt moved to share my experiences with you for the reasons explained in the introduction.

However, the past is the past. It may have been a good past (and in my case, I feel it was) or it may have been a bad past. But in any case, it's past. And what I have written here is as far as I plan to delve into the past at this point. Any more would be a waste of time in my opinion, because I am busy and challenged by living in the present and preparing for the future.

The Bible verse comes to mind, "This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before. I press towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14).

I live an exciting life today. I have responsibilities today. I hear from God today. I do what He tells me today. I practice my faith today. I am preparing today for an amazing future tomorrow. As an adult member of the Family, I am responsible for today.

I accept that responsibility and I take it seriously. I intend to do my best with what I'm responsible for today. Come back in ten years and I'll talk to you about the mistakes I've personally made that I'll be fully prepared to take responsibility for.

This is how I feel. I am a 33-year-old responsible member of the Family today. While I'm sorry that some people were hurt by things that occurred in our movement's past, I'd like to point out that I wasn't responsible for anything at all when those incidents occurred. I was still a child. The things that our missionary movement is most frequently accused of have not occurred since I've been a responsible adult member of the Family. And there are 2,725 of my peers in the Family today that are in my exact position. Not to mention the 3,655 children who are currently growing up in Family Homes. We second- and third-generation members comprise two-thirds of the Family's current membership.

Something people forget way too easily is that the Family is a changing, evolving group. That's one of the reasons why I like being a part of it. I know that things are going to continue to change. The Family as a movement is going to continue to grow and progress and mature. The Family of tomorrow is going to be different from the Family of today. That's what we're all working toward. So stay tuned for new developments!

As a movement we are all intensely focused on changes that will move us forward spiritually. I have committed to do my part to do what is necessary in my life—spiritually or physically—in order to move our movement into the future, to become a Family that will be prepared spiritually to be pillars of God in the Endtime, which we believe is soon approaching.

If I'm going to be in the Family and I'm going to live for others and I'm going to sacrifice my own desires in order to choose God's will, I want it to count.

Those of us in the Family today receive persecution for our faith and our beliefs. Many things are brought up about our group's past because it is sensational. But boy, I'd much rather talk about my faith and my beliefs and how I practice them today than to be thinking at all about the past, when I was just a child.

Today, I practice my faith. It is one that is certainly not mainstream, but I believe in it and hold it dear. I have a job, a mission, and a faith that I am prepared to stand up for, and in fact, receive persecution for. The reason it doesn't bother me is because I am living for another day. I am holding out for my rewards in Heaven. I'm proud to join the ranks of prophets who were persecuted for their faith. I believe my reward in Heaven will be great.

That's my goal. That's what I'm looking forward to. When I pass though Heaven's gates, I want to hear my Jesus say to me, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Enter thou into the joy of the Lord" (Mat.25:21.) That's gonna be one happy day! And I plan to continue living for that day the best way I know how.

To close, I would like to include the words of a song written by Family musician Godfrey Thompson. This song, which I love, is a prayer to Jesus, and pretty much sums up how I feel about things.

Called

I see life with other eyes

I'm free from this planet's material disguise

I want to live for a life that's to come

And be with You when this wasted world is done

I need You.

This world means nothing to me

Take me away with You

I give myself empty to You

I want to sit by Your side

I need You

The things I see have no value to me

I cast them to the ground. I sit at Your feet

Deep in my heart I know You're right

But my mind fights me day and night

I need You.

This world means nothing to me

Take me away with You

I give myself empty to You

I want to sit by Your side

I need You

These two things I pray and these things I ask

Care for my little ones till this time is past

You promised You'd see me through

And last of all I thank You for calling…

I need You.

This world means nothing to me

Take me away with You

I give myself empty to You

I want to sit by Your side

I need You